I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Randomize
