Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
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