I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
Randomize
