Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
I was born with a shot glass in my hand
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
Randomize
