I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
Randomize
