White coat. Heels.
you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
Randomize
