every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
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