watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
you're hired as official boob wrangler
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
Randomize
