I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
Randomize
