please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
I think a kid would responsible me up
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
Randomize