it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Randomize
