So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
Randomize