I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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