"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
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