Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
Randomize
