Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize