you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
this just has baby written all over it
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
God, I missed his penis.
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