I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
Randomize
