Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
Randomize
