Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
Randomize
