I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
Randomize
