is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
Randomize
