do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize
