i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
