woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
Such a big mess for such a small penis
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
Randomize
