Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
Randomize
