How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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