The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Randomize
