my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
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