Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize