I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
This is my gift to your gina
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
Randomize
