i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
Randomize
