I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
I need to calm my uterus...
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
Randomize
