Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
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