i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
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