in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
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