Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
Randomize
