I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
Randomize
