i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
