I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
Randomize
