there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
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