everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
