is wine microwaveable?
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
