im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Randomize
