who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
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