areolas are like halos for boobs.
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Randomize