you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
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