all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
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