They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
Randomize
