ya dads aren't the best wingmen
Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
Randomize
