i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
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