I want to make a zoo with you.
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
where are my pants?
in the oven.
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
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