She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
Swine flu. Run for my life!
I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
Randomize
