I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
Randomize
