I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Randomize
