After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
Randomize