She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
If I had a nickel for every time I've used a condom, I'd have... two nickels.
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize
