Why did I call the Oregon Department of Transportation at 4:30 in the morning, and who did I talk to for three minutes?
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
She tied me up with her honor cords...
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
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