Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
