I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
he wants to bone in the snuggie
i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
Randomize
