I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
My bed smells like the plague
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize