Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
I'd cum for enchiladas.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
Randomize
