This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
i think im in europe. pls send help
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
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