Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
Randomize
