you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
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