operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
Randomize
