Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
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