her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
Randomize
